I am by no means stupid – I’ve got a degree,
Excel academically and professionally,
A bit of a geek – for achievement I strive,
But that doesn’t help when you’re learning to drive…
And I’m not only talking about being out on the road,
But also the theory test trying to decode,
The written section has caused me zero stress,
But the same can’t be said for the hazard test…
For those who don’t know this – a clarification,
It’s made up of 14 clips each of 2 minute duration,
Each contains a “hazard”, and just one will have two,
And you mouse click when it becomes apparent to you…
It’s not quite as simple as it might sounds though,
Well, at least not on your first – and only – go,
And to pass overall, well, this section is crucial,
But some of these clips are quite honestly brutal!
It’s not one hazard per clip – in fact more like three,
And what constitutes a “hazard” at all, actually…??
Is it the cyclist, pedestrian or the van pulling out?
End up second guessing – in constant state of doubt…
And woe betide you if you click the mouse too soon,
Or a second too late – equally as inopportune,
For appropriate caution you’ll be penalized,
And yet, in real life that’s just how you should drive!!
For in real life you’d react in each and every case,
Note the potential hazard and press on the brakes,
It’s just a computer game with no real relevance,
Once again seems the DVLA has no road sense…
In real life I spot hazards – instructor tells me so,
At zebra crossings and T-junctions go slow,
The test’s no reflection of real-life road safety,
And all just a waste of time – if you ask me!!
So in the end, I did pass my theory this week,
But my performance on this section was pretty bleak,
Just three mere points over the failure line!!!
Think this silly test needs to be redesigned…