Just dropping by to say hello, now that we are no longer immersed in the day-to-day dementia world these days…
MIL has been in the care home coming up to three months now, and is at last responding to medication to manage her daily aggressive outbursts. For 90% of the time now, she seems very happy and chipper – I have no idea if she quite grasps where she is or not, but is very engaged with the carers and care home manager, and likes to help about the place etc. They’ve been brilliant, I have to say – it’s not a “posh” place by any means, like some we’d seen, but is clean, orderly and MIL is looked after really well, so all in all best case scenario we could have hoped for really.
OH is still taking her out every other week, and on those occasions she’s more confused than ever these days – referring to her dead husband as being alive, getting toy teddies confused for live cats, etc. But she’s happy to see OH still – though it’s hit and miss whether she recognises me properly still (to be fair, I am seeing her only very occasionally now). And she can still put away a whole mixed grill!
As for us, now the weight has lifted and our minds at rest, life has become so, so much better. The last five years had been a long old slog dementia wise, but fair to say that the last six months before MIL went in nearly broke us – definite marital / sanity / employment make or break material for a time there…
But OH and I survived, and are now coming out the other side and back to ourselves and one another again. OH is coming off his antidepressants, and surprises me frequently by showing glimpses of the “old” OH before all this kicked off, and he became so worn down. In all honesty, I’d almost forgotten what he or we used to be like!
The stress of dementia care has now been replaced by the joy of now being Mummy and Daddy to MIL’s (now our) much beloved cat – to whom we have both now lost any and all sense of reason, dignity or perspective… I thought you’d like to see a few pics of some of his finest moments – clearly he is the absolute cutest cat in the world, even objectively speaking We are just honoured to be his minions these days!
Speaking of cute, my little nephew is now 11 months on the scene and getting more engaging by the day. Gorgeous as he is, I’m not at all broody as a result – I’m exhausted after just five minutes of auntie time! Definitely suited more to cat parenthood myself, I think…
Despite the whole drama of last year (also he first year of new job – so all horrible timing there), I still got a really positive annual review at work the other week, and am really liking it here, as well as the people I work with. OH is ticking along well at the office still too – I think they just see him as part of the furniture these days… They gave him some shares in the company last year, which made him happy at any rate!
So all in all, we’re back to living a nice little mundane lives what with work, each other, cat and family – with regular visits to MIL but none of the associated stress or drama on a day-to-day basis. Hoorah for dull normality, I say – there was light at the end of the tunnel after all…
I hope all are well on here, and I’m sure I’ll have occasion to report back again in future.
In the meantime, thank you to all for responding and holding my hand over the last few years – the support we’ve found online has been invaluabe, and we wouldn’t have survived it without it…
Love for now from the other side,
Thanks for checking in. I am so glad to hear it is getting easier. It is a hard road to get yourself adapted to the idea that this is necessary, not to mention the administrative battles, but for now everyone is peaceful and hooray for “Normal.”
Happy New Year! I was thinking about you the other day and wondering how things are going. I’m delighted it all seems to be working out well. Long may it last.
Love the cat pictures. That loss of ‘all sense of dignity, reason or perspective’ is what usually happens when a cat takes you over. He is gorgeous.
Keep in touch. Wishing you and the DH all the very best in 2017.
What a gorgeous kitty! I know exactly what you mean about embracing a “dull” life … the chaos of caregiving, especially dementia caregiving, will have anyone wishing for an uneventful period. Great news about both you and your husband being able to recapture your old selves, and resume a more stable life together, that’s so important.
So glad it has gone well and she’s settled. Don’t know if grandma recognizes me all the time but she did at Christmas! Cat’s are wonderful and it seems you have one that wants to be around you which is an added bonus! Keep checking in!